i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
