So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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