i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
