yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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