Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
