Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
