genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
