I'm lost and stupid without you.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
