Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize