I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
