Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize