i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Less talking, more tequila
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
