Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
