At least make sure they are 18
Why
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
