We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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