remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
