How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
