Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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