He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your cock deserves a montage
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize