He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
