As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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