i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
