As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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