I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
