Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
