And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
