A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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