I hope mine doesn't look like that
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
