You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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