Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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