Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
