Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
