ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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