when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
