I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
