Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
