Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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