i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
