He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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