bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
