This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
