Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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