Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
