apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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