Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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