How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize