also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
