i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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