Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
