Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i will never coherently bang her
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
