Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
