I CAN MOONWALK!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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