hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
