I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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