so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
