I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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