I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
