a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
