Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
