Whod you bang
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
