she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
