yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
