if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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