He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize