Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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