so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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