your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
