Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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